Boyfriend wants me to help his side chick

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old and I am in a relationship with a man who is 56. He doesn't live in Jamaica, but he visits whenever he can.

I spend almost half of my day talking to him. I am currently a social worker; well, not fully, but I am climbing my way up. So because of that I occasionally have free time. But as I said, every chance I get, I talk to him. So, the other day we were on the phone, and I was telling him that I want to find a good baker because Christmas is coming, and you know the Christmas cakes are a must. Now, tell me why this man mentioned this girl whom I know that he is messing around with. I know they are messing around because I recalled going through his phone and I saw them talking explicitly, and there were pictures. What puzzles my mind is that he knows that he is messing with this girl, yet he is going to offer me Christmas cake from her. What if I had a side man and took his things and gave to this man? You would hear that I am a wicked woman.

This man knows I don't play around, but he is still talking foolishness on my phone. If he was near to me I would do something detrimental to him. I have always heard about men taking food from their babymothers and giving it to their other women. Since he suggested her name and the cake business to me, I saw his texts, and I sent him the screenshots I took from his phone with this girl. He has been calling me for days, even now as I am writing this letter. But I don't have anything to say him, because if I allow myself, I will tell this man some filthy words. I am trying to be as calm as ever, as this is the last straw for him.

S.J.

Dear S.J.,

You are giving up on this man quickly. You said that this man and you spend many hours on the phone, and that he visits you whenever he can because he is living abroad.

The love you had for each other seemed to have been strong. But you became annoyed when you discovered that you were not the only woman in his life, and the man seems reluctant in sending money to buy Christmas cake. He suggested that the girl he is having a relationship with can provide the cakes. You believe that he is out of order to make that suggestion to you.

Calm down. Pull yourself together. Behave as a lady. You shouldn't be tempted to use expletives to this man. Just calmly tell this man that you would prefer to purchase your Christmas cakes from someone else. Deep in your heart, you know that it might be more than just buying cakes from this woman. It might be his way of letting her have some money. Tell him how much your cakes may cost somewhere else. When he comes to Jamaica, have a serious talk with him about this woman, who has become your rival.

If the relationship meant something to you, how could you so easily break up with him? I don't have a right to tell you whether you should end the relationship with him. But as I see it, your reason for walking away from him is very weak.

Pastor